3/9 Journal Blog: Contemplating Friends

Posted: 2010/03/09 in Journal

More an more I find myself pondering friends, what they mean to me, and/or what I mean to them.  I have always tried to put myself out there as a valuable reource to my friends; there is very little that I won’t do for them and I have always genuinly stood by them.  The more time goes by, I feel more and more that this has become a one way street.  I have always tried not to expect anything from my friends, but I have found that not to be true.  I expect my friends to be willing to spend time with me, it’s actually very simple.  I don’t expect money, material things, to be fed, or to be entertained, I just want to be able to make plans to visit or be visited.  I can count on one hand the number of times my friends came over to my place just to spend time with me and my wife in the last year, maybe even two years, on one hand.  Sure, people have come over because we set up a gaming network, held a picnic, watched their kids, …etc, but very few ever came over to come over.  I know that I’m not the most interesting person in the world and I may be overly playful to the point of annoying, but I do not know what I did or what it is about me that makes it so that none of the people that I consider friends will make an attempt to spend time with me.  Even though everyone knows they have an open invitation, I regularly try to invite others to come hang out, but noone wants to do so.  I find that if I do not call, IM, text, and/or visit my friends, then I will never hear from them.  Part of me says to stop being a whiney bitch and deal with it while the other part says to just let these people go and stop bothering.

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Comments
  1. waffles says:

    Okay, yeah your man card needs to be removed. If people don’t wanna come over and hang out, perhaps you’ve become boring…work on it. Either A. you’ve out matured your friends or vice versa or B. your friend’s were retarded from the get-go or C. change in your thoughts have alienated your friends (i.e. when my friend found jesus and condemned me for watching ‘The Simpsons’, true story). Find new friends is what it all boils down to.

    • kevinkmjr says:

      What, I loose my man card for putting my thoughts on paper? Ya, it’s a little on the Emo side, but i was contemplating. The dilemna is that I made friends with a bunch of hermits. Most of us all started as friends back in high school, and all of the parts of the group fell apart from everyone because they all only visit those who come to visit them. Dropping them is not a choice that i am willing to take as my friends are the people that I consider my chosen family without the blood relation. I refuse to mix work and pleasure, so I won’t hang out with people from work. I don’t go to clubs or bars for the sake of it, so that eliminates most of the rest of it. We’ve been debating looking for something like a bowling league or one of the fraternal society clubs.

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